Schrodinger's Cat is Dead

Schrodinger's Cat is Dead. Dead in my mind and I in his. May he rest in peace.

I've been afraid to say it, but now I must face it...

I officially have diabetes. For the last two years my doctor and I have been slowly watching my blood sugars rise. I went through stages of changing my diet and working out, and stages of denial just hoping that it wouldn't get any worse or would just magically self-correct itself, despite that I know better. I am 26, 5'9, size 8. I kept thinking this is not supposed to happen to me! I am not obese, my diet isn't great, but it's not that bad either...

Yesterday, I was in tears, full of self-pity, wondering about my future, my ability to have a healthy baby someday, about medical school, about heart disease, blindness, and amputations. But today on this Thankgiving, as I took a walk on the beach with my Dad after dinner, he reminded me of some advice I had given him when he was struggling with depression. "Everyday, when you wake up in the morning, you have a choice. You can choose to look at this bleakly or you can live everyday to the fullest and take control your blood sugar, rather than letting it control you." So this is my choice. Diabetes, watch out, here I come!

Worst Week, Best Week

This is how my ideal week would go this week:

(1) MCAT scores improve tomorrow
(2) I get the job I interviewed for last week, and they offer me the top of the job's salary range (well even the bottom number would make me happy)
(3) I have an interview invite from a medical school by Friday...
(4) I get a secondary application from UCSF my #1 pick!

I want to be a Navy Pilot

The following is going to be included at both the beginning and the end of my grandfather's book about his experiences as a dive bomber during World War II...

I Want to Be a Navy Pilot

by a Fifth Grader

I want to be a Navy Pilot when I grow up because it's fun and easy to do. Pilots don't need much school, they just have to learn numbers so they can read instruments. I guess they should be able to read maps so they can find their way if they are lost. Pilots should be brave so they won't be scared if its foggy and they can't see or if a wing or a motor falls off they should stay calm so they'll know what to do. Pilots need to have good eyes so they can see through clouds and they can't be afraid of lightning or thunder because they are closer to them than we are. The salary pilots make is another thing I like; they make more money than they can spend; this is because most people think airplane flying is dangerous except pilots don't because they know how easy it is. There isn't much I don't like, except girls like pilots and all the stewardesses want to marry them so they always have to chase them away so they won't bother them. I hope I don't get airsick because if I do I couldn't be a pilot and I would have to go to work for a living.

You let us down Trevor Hoffman!

All I have to say is, you let us down Trevor Hoffman!

UC Davis Secondary!

Yes, I know to many of you blog readers this will make no sense, but I got a secondary from UC Davis Medical school today and I am very happy! Eeeeeeeeeeh!

EU Totalitarianism at its Worst...

Can you believe this? This poor little chap in England was actually CONVICTED by the EU for measuring fruits and vegetables by the pound and ending up dying from a heart attack from the stress of it all! I hate to see the day when I have to walk into an English pub and ask for a half a liter of Guinness instead of a pint. A recent ruling by the European Union is allowing the British to keep their units of measurement for now, but let's see how long that last...

Read more here...

Stiletto Race

And the winner--at 11 seconds-- is actually only 2 seconds above the World Record holder in the 100 meter dash. Imagine what she can do you if you give her a pair of running shoes!

Last night in the Bay...

So tomorrow I embark on a new part of my life. For the last eight years I have lived up in the Bay Area of California--San Francisco and Oakland mostly. My entire adult life has been spent up here, all my adult friends are up here. My grandmother is going to turn 90 this year and my grandfather is 88. I figure once I start medical school, my time with them will be limited, so I should enj0y their company now. I am glad to be returning to my childhood home, but at the same time I am a little bit nervous. I have no social network save for a few childhood friends, no clubs, no groups. I guess I get to recreate myself, if you will, starting tomorrow. I told my friends up here not to do anything dramatic--like throw me a going away party, because unfortunately I have to retake the MCAT in a few weeks and don't want to dwell on the fact that I am leaving. In fact, I didn't even tell some people I was leaving.

So goodbye Oakland Hills, goodbye Lake Merritt, goodbye downtown San Francisco, goodbye my good old college, and goodbye Golden Gate Bridge. I hope to see you again in a year...

Brain Surgery

So I saw my first surgery yesterday--and it was brain surgery no less! I think I must have gotten lucky because from what I've heard normally the surgery rooms are packed with medical students, but they must all be on vacation or something because during the resection it was just the surgeon, two neurosurgery residents, the surgery tech who was raised on a platform to the side of the patient, the one random nurse who sat in the back and checked her email most of the time except when the surgical tech needed something, one medical student and me.

The surgery takes place in about 5 parts--first the skull gets cut open and the brain prepared for the mapping and surgery (this I didn't see). The patient is on their side, and their entire face and head except for the part that is being operated on is covered in a yellow tarp. Only the 5 X 5 inch section of the brain is exposed. Then the epileptologists come into the room (these are neurologist who specialize in the care of people with epilepsy). The surgeon attaches about 16 electrodes to the patients brain--some slide underneath the brain itself (depths), and some get put in and around the brain's sulci (subs). The electrode device looks like some contraption out of a horror movie or one of those head massage devices that have wires (I wish I could find a picture). Then, the epileptologists look at the EEG and record all the abnormal regions on the graph. In most cases, this doesn't change the surgery plan, but sometimes it does. In fact one of the residents said that this doesn't even need to be done for about 75% of the cases, but they do it for every case so that they are good at it for the 25% of the cases that do need it.

After the epileptologist has confirmed the surgery plan, the surgeon steps in and gets cutting. Yesterday's case was fairly straight forward, so the removal of the temporal lobe (the resection) took about 90 minutes. I don't now why, but I expected to see knives, but to my surprise there were none! They use these high tech tweezers things that electrically cut through tissue. 90 minutes later a piece of her brain was missing. It was very odd to see that.

Then, the epileptologists come in again and place electrodes on the brain again. To my amazement all the abnormal brain waves are gone, except for a few in new places that are due to the brain feeling agitated (these will usually disappear after the brain heals). If there was still some significant abnormal brain activity, then the surgeons might go back in again and remove some more tissue. This had to be the most amazing part to me...in just 90 minutes the brain went from abnormal to mostly normal.

I have to admit, I thought that since I am basically a nobody at this point in my career that I would be ignored, so I didn't expect much. I guess people at a teaching hospital like to teach (go figure), so without my asking several doctors took the time to show me what was going on, point out parts of the brain, etc, etc. I was also shocked by how close I was allowed to get without actually being scrubbed in (only 4 people were scrubbed in - the three surgeons and the scrub tech). The surgical resident allowed me to get within about 16 inches of the patient's brain without being scrubbed when people were scattered around the room doing other things (I had on scrubs, a face mask, little booties, and a hair cover). I guess as long as I didn't touch anyone scrubbed in, the blue tarp covering the patient then I was good...I had no idea the brain pulsated as much at it did. It's almost hard to believe that what you are seeing is real since the patient's face is covered, until you see the pulsating movement of the brain. Pretty amazing!

Dear Abby...

The following is a very touching and heartwarming story. Isn't it wonderful to hear from such a fine, well-adjusted citizen. It indeed makes one feel that all is right with the world after all!


Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl". All things considered, my Problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?

Sincerely,

-- Worried About My Reputation

Drinking and Driving....

So I got woken up at about 12:30am when I heard a huge crash and a scream. I sleep with earplugs, so the source of the noise was not clear to me. I thought someone had broken in and was attacking my sister. I woke her up and she was sound a sleep. She thought I had had a nightmare, and told me to go back to bed. That's when we heard ambulances and police cars. So since we were up, we walked outside to see what was going on. There was an SUV flipped over in the middle of the street, and a couple of people lying on the street who were thrown out of their car (in heels and nightclub attire). Then, that's when I realize my car is parked on that street. Quickly I start looking too see where it's at. That's when I realize the car up on the grassy hill above the sidewalk that's totaled is MY CAR! (And I just put $50 into an oil change, fluid change, tune up two days ago). The driver took out several cars on the side of the street. One guy was just sitting in his car, listening to music and was hit and injured. Luckily no one was killed (just seriously injured), but as it turns out the driver was over 2x the legal limit!

Geeky Pickup Line of the Day!

If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase ,

so I could unzip your genes.

Part II: All about Interia in 40 questions...

Schrödinger passed this on to me, so I figured I might as well procrastinate for a few more minutes…

1. What is your middle name? I’m not telling…even though Schrödinger has gone public with his real name, I prefer anonymity since I am in the process of applying to medical school.

2. What color pants are you wearing? Blue cut off sweat pants-turned into shorts. Very white trashy. I haven’t gotten out of my pjs yet. These used to belong to Schrödinger.

3. What are you listening to now? The sound of the freeway next to my apartment, and my sister singing off tune to the jingle of a commercial.

4. What was the last thing you had to drink? DHMO- Dihydromonoxide.

5. Do you wish on Stars? Nope, not since I was I was a kid maybe.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Teal. I have a million shirts that are all shades of teal. I think that color looks best on me.

7. How is the weather today? Really overcast and foggy. Strange summer weather for California. Although, yesterday was beautiful.

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My dad. I was doing some car maintenance and I needed to ask him some advice.

9. Do you like the person that sent this to you? Of course! It’s Schrödinger. He’s my best buddy!

10. Favorite drink? 2007 Napa Cabernets!

11. Favorite sport? To watch: Gymnastics…I once was one, but I got too tall! To do: Cycling or running. I really want to learn how to play tennis however…I want to wear one of those cute skirts! Maybe Schrödinger can teach me?

12. Hair Color? Dark brown and straight.

13. Siblings? Lots. Two sisters (older and younger) and a brother (older). In fact, my little sister is my apartment mate.

14. Favorite month? June Why? Because it's my birthday month and the beginning of summer!

15. Favorite Food? Pasta Carbonara. Ben and Jerry’s Fish Food and Mint and Cookie Ice Cream and Dynamite Sushi rolls! Oh, and my grandmother’s Sticky Buns!

16. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Ratatouille. My sister wanted to go see it.

17. Favorite day of the year? Yes, this is cliché, but Christmas. I have a close knit and crazy family, so it’s always a fun time. I also love Christmas food! We do an untraditional brunch, and eat sticky buns, honey baked ham and scalloped potatoes…yummy!

18. What do you do to vent anger? I stomp and slam drawers. Schrödinger can attest to this because he once lived below me in an apartment (usually I was angry at him; he stays so calm when we get into tifts that it ends up making me angry, and he knows this so then he just stays even calmer). Sometimes I try to be constructive and run!

19. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had this game called “Mall Madness.” I swear all the kids always wanted to come over an play at my house because they’ve loved the game. I also/ still have this teddy bear that my grandfather gave me as a toddler. He always believed that every kid should have a teddy bear.

20. Summer or Winter? That’s hard…I love to ski, but I also like all the things that summer brings- Barbecues, outdoor sports, camping and hiking trips…

21. Hugs or kisses? Kisses…the half kind.

22. Car or motorcycle? Cars! I hate motorcycles (the sound they make).

23. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate! I can’t even remember the last time I had vanilla. I have to have something chocolate everyday.

24. Do you want your friends to do this survey? Um...my blog partner already did it. I guess I could email it out as a forward, but I hate it when people do that to me, so I won’t do it to them.

25. Who is most likely to do this survey? My little sister.

26. Who is least likely to respond? Er, Schrödinger since he already did it.

27. When was the last time you cried? The day I got my MCAT scores back a couple of weeks ago.

28. What is under your bed? My bed is on the floor…so nothing (I am in the process of moving).

29. Who is the friend that you have had the longest? My childhood bestfriend. We go back to preschool. Funny, because she now has a preschooler of her own.

30. What did you do last night? Went to a party in the hills above Napa Valley at a ridiculous nice house.

31. What are you afraid of? Not getting into medical school.

32. Plain, buttered, or salted popcorn? Buttered and salted with M & Ms thrown in (or sugar tossed in)

33. Favorite car? I don’t have one…I would really like a truck though…not as SUV, but an honest to goodness “Bitch truck!” (like GMC two cabin pickup truck). I had one on rental for a month last summer when my car was in the shop for a month. It was the best. I felt powerful and I can’t tell you how often I got hit on because of my truck.

34. Favorite Flower? Roses….maybe. No one ever brings me flowers, so its hard to say.

35. How many keys on your keyring? 7 plus my bite size gym card. I don't even know what some of them are for!

36. How many years at your job? Does being a student count? With a couple of years of working in between—18 years!

37. What did you do on your last birthday? Went to a chocolate making factory, had lunch at their restaurant, and then worked for an event planner (yes worked) on a boat party for someone else who happened to have the same birthday that evening. It was fun work though, and I got to tour around the whole SF Bay.

38. How many states have you lived in? One! Just California. I’ve lived in Italy though.

39. Did you have fun doing this? Better than studying biochemistry.

40. Who are you going to send this to? I don't know... probably no one.

Coolest Enzyme Ever!

ATP Synthase rocks! I think it has to be one of the coolest enzymes ever! Without it I would even have the energy to post on this blog! I am in the middle of a biochemistry course right now, and I never ceased to be amazed by the crazy things that enzymes can do. It's like a little factory machine. As they say "Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction." For more information check out wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ATP_synthase

Blah. Blah. Blah. This is how I feel, so I google imaged "Blah" and this is what I found. Exactly, how I feel!

Waiting Patiently...

So for all you Heliumites that are waiting patiently for Shrodinger to post...just got word this morning that he's having trouble posting. He's working in the England for the next couple of weeks, and unfortunately he can't login to the blog from the hospital computers. He will however send me things through me to post for him. I know you all miss him, but in the meantime you have me!

Sciences in the Public School

O.K. it's about time I post on this thing, since it's been a while and Schrodinger has taken over the Blog. So, I am a little distraught with the state of the public school system right now. I have been teaching at a math and science summer camp for girls entering the ninth grade for the last couple of weeks. One of the campers was complaining because she felt the science she was doing was irrelevant to what she would be learning next year. The program is focused on ecology, so they are studying photosynthesis, testing the soil and water-getting a head start on microscope technique. Recalling, that in my Freshman biology class we studied evolution, mitosis, plants, animals and started to use microscopes I asked, "What is it you're studying next year?" To my surprise Health class now takes the place of Freshman biology. They will learn watered down nutrition, how to brush their teeth, how to just say no to drugs, their reproductive systems and most importantly how to put a condom on a banana. I too had a health requirement in high school, but it by no means replaced biology and it was only a one semester course. And we wonder why America is falling behind in the sciences. I hate to say it, but I object to this just as much as I object to teaching creationism in the public schools. And the funny part is she's attending what is considered to be one of the more decent progressive high schools around here--Berkeley High.

How do these people get into medical school?

Can someone please tell me how people like this ever get passed the admissions department of medical schools. This is a thread I started at studentdoctor.net, and these are the idiotic responses I got. I don't let any of it phaze me, I'm just worried that these are the future doctors of America.... (aka I'm the epileptic).

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?p=4557989#post4557989

Pachelbel Hell

So I thought my fellow musicians out there could appreciate this little Pachelbel rant.

Pre-Med By the Numbers

I am 5 years further behind in my medical career, but I just thought I would try to see if I could compete with Shrodinger's Cat.

Years in school post-BA degree: 2.5
Number of years in formal post-bac pre-med program: 1.5
Number of grades less than an A I have recieved since: 1 (computer science)
Number of sugar free-red bulls: 157
Number of double-tall lowfat lattes: 201
Number of all nighters: 1
Number of hours studying: 3380
Number of model organic molecules I have constructed: 74
Number of boyfriends: 2
Number of ex-boyfriends: 2
Number of ex-boyfriends that work for the company that own this blogging site: 1
Number of ex-boyfriends who call themselves Shrodinger the Cat: 1
Number of times I have chosen a lab partner based on looks: 2
Number of times cute lab partner was married or had a girlfriend (one time his hand was broken, so he didn't have on his wedding band): 2
Number of times I've cursed the entire semester for having chosen lab partner based on looks and not academic ability: 1
Number of times a patient has bit me: 1
Number of times a patient has slapped me: 11 (usually 95 year old Asian ladies)
Number of times a patient has slapped me on the ass: 1
Number of times I was attracted to the patient that slapped me on the ass:0
Number of times I have been asked out by a pyschiatric patient who claimed to be getting out the next day: 3
Number of patients with my birthdate (not year): 2
Number of needles I have been stuck with by HIV positive patients: 1
Number of TB exposures: 1
Number of months I get to take INH because of TB exposure: 6
Number of times I have drawn my own blood: 2
Number of times I gave myself a giant hematoma from drawing my own blood: 1
Number of Episodes of Grey's Anatomy watched: 46 (yes, that's all of them)
Number of times I think I've contracted/have something that I've learned about in physiology: 7
Number of times I really had said disease/condition: 3
Number of male nurses who have flirted with me: 2
Number of doctors who have flirted with me: 1
Number of doctors who have tried to convince me not to go to medical school and go into investing instead: 2

School Children

This afternoon I was driving home at around the time school lets out (I live in a predominately African-American and Hispanic neighborhood). The cutest little girl, maybe six years of age, was walking across the street with her pink fluorescent book bag stuffed full of books. In addition, she was dragging behind her a wheeled backpack that was as nearly tall as her (it was the funniest sight). Then, as I drove down another block there was a boy approximately ten years of age. He had a smaller backpack, not quite as stuffed full. Then a middle school student with just a notebook tucked under her arm passed, and finally a couple of high school girls with just purses in their hand. I don't know why I noticed this today or why the trend stuck out to me. I just wondered what happened to all the bright-eyed six-year olds who were excited and eager to learn, and where along the way they stopped being interested in school. I got kind of sad, because I realized that this little girl had so much potential, but that most likely her academic interest would not be supported by family or peers and that in a few years she would loose interest in school.

Junk Drawers

So this will make the first post on we have "We have no idea what you are talking about." I am very proud of myself this morning, I am officially getting rid of the junk drawer! Yes, I know this may sound trivial to some, but for me it's a big accomplishment. People don't understand that you learn to be organized from your parents...you see my father had a junk drawer, and he told me that his mother had a junk drawer...so it is only natural that as a child I would think that a natural way to organize myself was by creating a junk drawer. It contains everything from buttons, to birthday cards, to random photos, to ticket stub from memorable dates, to show programs...For now, much of the random stuff has been moved to file folder called "Photos" and "Momentos." Someday I will have the courage to throw away the momentos, but hey at least they're filed (I just bought my first ever filing cabinet ever this week). I'm am still trying to figure out to do with the buttons, random keys, and batteries....maybe I'll get little tupperware containers and store the buttons with my sewing kit...any advice my super organized readers?